My Apology

Hey You,

I woke up this morning and decided today was the day I would apologize to you, for everything I've done.

I never truly meant to hurt you, I just didn't know what I was doing.

I'm sorry for lying to you, at the time I honestly thought I was right. I thought my decisions would be good for both of us, I never stopped to get your opinion, your thoughts or your feelings.

I'm sorry for the abuse.  The physical abuse, the mental abuse and the emotional abuse. You are not stupid, you are not dumb, you aren't ugly, nor are you worthless. I know after hearing this so long from me, you started to believe it. You started acting it out, and now, I can't get you to believe otherwise........OH and by the way, you're not fat, I just told you that you were because I didn't have anything nice to say.

I''m sorry for the scars, I knew you really wanted to lovve someone and they love you back, so to fulfill your desire, I placed people in your life, time after time so you wouldn't be lonely. In my way of thinking, a temporary love was better than none at all. Didn't realize that would your you more than it would help. Didn't realize that the pain was building up.

I'm sorry for all the times I made you cry. I figured after all the damage I'd caused, if you had a few good cries, then you could recover from it all, only, once again, I was wrong.  The tears didn't wash away the pain, it just gave a temporary release to keep you from losing your mind.

Lastly, I'm sorry for everything I've done that I'm not aware of. Sometimes I've been careless and knew about it, other times, I have been insensitive, selfish, stubborn, controlling, unreasonable, and just overall mean.

So as I stand here in front of you, with tears in my eyes, humility in my heart, and a true and honest love for you, I ask you to please forgive me. I've come to realize that you are stronger than I gave you credit for, you are much wiser than I'd give you to be.

I'm sorry, I am truly sorry, I don't want to lose you, so from this point on, we do things your way... I support you.. I love you, more than you'll ever know. So I'm asking you, if you can find it in you heart to forgive me? Let me prove myself better to you...

~As I stand there nervously, afriad of the response, I'm looking into your eyes, there is a sadness and a joy, there is pain, but there is laughter~

Well.........

Several moments have passed, and you have yet to give me an answer, and I got to go.... But as I get ready to walk away... The woman looking back at me in the mirror says...

Yes......I forgive you


©2011 Ms Jae